"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
