so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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