I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
