why didn't you poke me back
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
