i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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