High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
