Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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