on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
