wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
