He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
