I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
