Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
