i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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