I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
