P.S. I can't hear my feet
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize