BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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