they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
My penis needs a shock collar
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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