I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
