I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize