I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
