O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Drake has all the answers
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
