I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize