Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
