so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
