I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Do vagina's smell?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize