Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
