She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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