I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
