I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
