My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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