i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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