I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
