I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
