when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
