i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
