did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
