he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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