Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize