porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Two words: nipple clamps
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