so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
