She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
