You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize