..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
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