He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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