I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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