they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize