operation harelip BJ is a go
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
