i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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