He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
