Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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