I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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