I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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