Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
