i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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