Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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