i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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