"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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