Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
