I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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