Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I can text with my tongue
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
