Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
