no, he came in my armpit
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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