woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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