Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
