i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
